The Big Move Home

I lived in the middle of this great city, Seoul of 10 million people, from January 2007-December 2008.

And then I moved back home to a small midwestern American city/town that has a population of about 200,000 people which includes the surrounding farming communities. Needless to say, I was making plans to leave again after just three months!

Here I am on the last official day of my mid-academic year break reading blogs about those who have taught in South Korea. What is it about living in a foreign country and the pull it has on your heart? When I lived in South Korea I down right hated it on occasion. Some days were difficult and lonely. Many unique and interesting things became annoying (i.e. conversations with complete strangers: "Hi! Hi! Hi! Do you speak Engrishee?! Why you not married? Where do you live?"). However, I think I really miss that time of little responsibility, complete selfishness, daydreaming about a future yet to be decided, and the foreign adventure of living in an amazing city like Seoul.

Here's another blog that I like to read about someone who has recently moved back to her small hometown in Canada with her husband. She's facing challenges with her new marriage, cultural differences, and living in her hometown as someone who has lived abroad. I totally get some of the things she's discussing. I understand what it is like to want to be somewhere else, only to feel yourself being pulled back to the place you just left - or lived before. I often fantasize about living in Seoul again.

I think everyone who has ever lived somewhere so different from where they grew up will forever feel that pull and tug to go back.

How do we expats and former expats soothe the urge to hop on an international flight to take a job in another country? We get busy with goals: build a home, make a family, further our education, and strengthen relationships with those who matter most. And if all that doesn't make you want to make your homeland your home, save up for international trips and live near an international airport to make travel easier. We can also search for work in our home countries that might have futures abroad.

Right now, I am looking for work at an American university that has foreign branch campuses, or who want to at least recruit internationl students. This could lead to me going abroad for a week to recruit students or it might mean my whole family (husband and two cats!) go abroad for a semester or more as American university employees.

until next time,
WW

Photo credits:
http://thebesttraveldestinations.com/seoul-korea/
http://www.destination360.com/north-america/us/missouri/springfield

Update!

Here I am on another "non-teaching" day before I get to officially be on vacation, and I'm looking back at all we've done this fall.

Two exciting things have happened:

1. We decided to train for a marathon. IN THE DESERT! We'll be running the Dubai Standard Chartered Marathon this Friday, January 21st, 2011. I am excited, but also terrified of the pain I'll surely be in afterwards (and during!). While this will be my fifth marathon, it feels like the worst training I've been through: running in sweltering heat, being surrounded by all men staring at me in my running clothes, not being able to run alone (by personal choice, not law), and massive IT band and knee pain for a good portion of this past fall.

2. We decided to move home! This is perhaps even more exciting than running my fifth marathon! I cannot wait to to do the follow things in the United States:

• buy dill pickles
• buy delicious deli lunch meats
• buy delicious whole wheat breads
• buy yummy bagels
• buy Dr. Pepper for my addict husband
• work at an American university
• run whenever, wherever I want - even alone if I choose!
• run a race at Disney World with my sweetie husband
• attempt a triathlon (first, must take swim lessons and buy a bike!)
• enjoy four seasons
• happily wear socks and close-toed shoes again, and all other cold weather clothes
• be able to see friends and family more easily
• go to the movies with an audience that knows talking on cell phones is rude
• go to public places and know that a child unattended will be quickly sought out by a guardian, rather than left to the involuntary supervision of strangers
• drive regularly in a car that will not be run off the road because some jerk is in a hurry and flashing his headlights while tailgating way too closely
• have police that actually enforce the laws on a regular basis rather than only have responsibilities as traffic cops
• celebrate all American holidays without offending someone by proudly saying to all "Merry Christmas!" rather than having to see it referred to as "the Magic Season" in the stores
• wear shorts and t-shirts (and possibly sleeveless shirts! - gasp!) without offending others
• watch our kitties experience life in the US - watching nature through house windows
• relax without censoring my self - words like "girlfriend":and "boyfriend" and "dating" will become part of my vocabulary again
• enjoy being able to leave my country for work or vacation without an exit permit
• enjoy getting to know an American city with my husband (we moved to Qatar almost immediately after meeting and marrying)
• getting a decent radio station while driving in the car
• knowing that if it gets ridiculously hot in the summer that I can and will wear a bikini to a public or private pool and not worry about it offending everyone or drawing an insane amount of judging leers from random people
• enjoying being home

So that was Christmas

Christmas has come and gone. I find myself here looking forward to the next 5 weeks or so of "non-teaching" days. Christmas was hard this year and last year. Internet can only do so much to bring people together. We decorated our little tree a few days after Thanksgiving, bought and exchanged gifts, and ate a big Christmas breakfast. It was still warm outside. There was no snow on the ground. We were without family and friends from home. Next year will be different.

Expat Wives

I just read another very well written and funny post by Shamozal. She is also in Doha, but has lived in so many other more fascinating places - with a husband, 4 kids, and a beagle. Most recently, she's written about the "expat wife".

While I am technically an expat wife, I do not consider myself to be one of them. I am the anchor to Qatar who lead her not-quite-yet-husband here over a year ago. So, while some (apparently) are calling the expat wives "trailing spouses" I'd say that my situation is quite the opposite.

I'm the spouse with the benefits package (return airfare each summer, housing, interest free car loan, etc.) who is sponsored by a Qatari entity. And due to my sponsorship I became a resident who could then turn around and sponsor my husband. As the first one here and sponsored first, I signed all the papers. Basically, everything was put in my (maiden) name: car loan, car title, car registration, car insurance, bank account, utilities, Internet and satellite TV, etc. Essentially, my sweet, devoted husband could make a run for it and leave me here in this sand box of hell quite easily. But wait! Because he is sponsored by moi, he must also get my written permission to leave the country if he wishes to return as a resident rather than a tourist. I know he'd never do this because he loves our cats too much. (They are the only concrete reason why we ever bother returning from our vacations to this place afterall!)

Not only do I look different on paper from the Expat Wives, but I am clearly having a different kind of experience. Recently, we met our running club for brunch after a run. I'm one of only two female runners in our group, but for brunch there was much greater balance.

We sat down to chow down and the second most popular question was asked: "Do you work?" they each asked eye balling me like a creature who'd escaped to the outside. "Yes, we both teach," I explained. After that I always feel obliged to ask if they work (outside the home), but I always know the answer by how they ask me the same question. So, I asked. And they said, of course, that they didn't. They go on to tell me how they fill their days here. Some teach private lessons of various arts and crafts thingys for fun. Others pass time with other Expat Wives. And most spend a lot of time chasing their children. I suspect some are fans of Facebook and spend gobs of time online. I mean, that's what I do on vacation because my husband's school holidays do not match mine.

Of course there are positives and negatives to being an atypical Expat Wife. For starters we basically live off one of our salaries here. On top of that we do not have children, while it seems almost every married couple here does. Therefore, we are able to save quite a bit while working in the Gulf. On top of the financial advantages of us both working while abroad, my husband and I can equally sympathize with each other about the cultural frustrations of working here. For example, he experiences many of the same challenges with Gulf Arab students and administrative staff. These shared experiences will make it easier to decide what we do next. Having struggled and enjoyed a very similar adventure here together will mean that our decision to stay or leave will be an easy one.

Until Next Time (and I hope it isn't months!),
WW

Image credit: Chiang Mai City Life

Summer & Eid Vacations

Here are some photos of our trip to Sri Lanka, Thailand, and the big cat gift!

Until Next Time,

WW

Back to the Desert

We arrived in Doha on last Thursday in the wee hours of the morning. Thank goodness it was at that hour because Ramadan is in full swing which means late night traffic is crazy! So what were my thoughts upon arrival for our second year in the desert?

1. It is HOT still, but not as hot as I remembered it in August 2009. We are getting acclimated to heat I guess (especially after being HOT in Thailand just before our arrival).

2. I missed our kitties and I am glad to see them again. They missed us and slept with us through the first night. We had a 3 day layover from in Doha after our 3 week vacation in the US and before our Thailand adventure, so they were probably still feeling clingy with abandonment issues lingering.

3. I don't really want to go back to work, but I am very much ready to have a purpose other than vacationing. I thrive on a regular schedule that includes home cooked meals, my own bed, regular distance running, access to the Internet, and work of some sort.

4. I cannot believe that we will be off again for Eid again next week! We'll be going to Sri Lanka - a place neither of us have visited. And I already know I like the place because it is a mere 5 hour plane ride! Yea! for short flights!

5. In these idle days of Ramadan my mind wonders 'Where are we going next? Will Qatar ever become interesting or will I just count the paydays until my contract ends?'

6. I saw this article about Qataris and other rich Gulf Arabs that holiday in England in The New York Times.

Until Next Time,

WW

Photo Credit: Swns.com via The New York Times and the London Journal

Cats!

So we are leaving in about a week. While our departure couldn't come any sooner, I'm getting pretty sad about leaving our furbabies. I wanted to post another blog about Qatar, but cannot focus on anything worthy to write about here. In fact, when I'm READY to leave a place I'm very much in the 2nd place long before I leave the 1st place. The heat, lack of things to do outside, and my desire to be in the US have given me a bad attitude about all things Qatar. With the heat index regularly at 120-145F I just want to hibernate in our apartment until we leave to catch our flight. I'm also starting to get nervous that some unforeseen event will delay our trip home like I'll get in a car wreck or some other terrible thing!

So, here's a little photo montage of our furbabies:

Until next time,

WW

Terrible Wife, Great Running Partner

We are still training for the Rock 'n' Roll Chicago 1/2 Marathon that is on August 1st. We've also been taking co-ed group fitness classes at Aspire. I also had a consultation with a personal trainer to get set up on using the weight room. I like using the weights because I can go down a list of nicely organized exercises that my trainer (a triathlete from New Zealand) made just for me. I also really like the co-ed classes more than the women's classes because they are more difficult. The Group Fitness class has each person moving every 2 minutes to different stations in groups of 3 or 4. In the Total Fat Loss class we stay at stations for 4 minutes. By the time we're half way around the room M and I both are dripping with sweat. I love it! However, after two weekends of not doing our long run, we made a fatal error the night before our run.

Last week we decided to go to the Thursday night Total Fat Loss class with the fantastic-sub-five-foot-no-bullshit-allowed-no-excuses-trainer named George. He is a like a muscle bound pit bull . . . from Romania. He was wearing a tank top instead of a t-shirt last week and M and I couldn't believe how stacked he was! M heard he was a former Olympic gymnast (Doha the Branson, Missouri, of the Gulf - where former Olympians go to retire . . . ) George also commands the room with his voice. We had already started at various stations around the room when an Arab guy poked his head in and asked to join the class. George shot a quick look at the Arab and barked "Yes, go, check in, and when you come back 20 push ups!" Like I mentioned before, George doesn't mess around. So why in the heck we thought it was a good idea to take his class the night before our long run is beyond me.

I have to stop this story here to add some personal background. In 2008 I ran 7 half marathons and 2 marathons. That was while I was living in Seoul, South Korea, with one race being in Hong Kong. In Seoul there is the most amazing support system of fellow crazy runners and plenty of races in Seoul and all over Korea to enjoy. I was in heaven to say the least. I was single, working, traveling, running, and racing a lot. In fact, there was one month when I ran two half marathons. A friend jokingly asked, "Why didn't you just run one marathon and get it over with?" I went to races out of town by bus or train. I went with some great friends and also alone. I went to the Cherwon DMZ Half Marathon alone and spent the whole day speaking Korean. I will never forget that experience of running past South Korea DMZ guard towers with soldiers standing up on top and of running through villages and having Korean ajummas waving at me and cheering me on while smiling. I loved traveling throughout Korea and running. However, simply put, I was addicted and wanted to spend all my free time either preparing or actually competing. I wasn't great at it, but I had some amazing life changing races. Training and racing became me. I was a bona fide finisher's medal hording, race t-shirt collecting, early weekend morning training, monthly racing "marathoner" while in Korea.

Now that we live in Qatar things have changed. I honestly thought the only obstacle to maintaining my previous running and racing lifestyle would be the weather, but I was wrong. There is a small group of people who meet each weekend to run along The Corniche, but M and I stopped going last fall because we hated getting up early to meet strangers for a run along a brick (ouch!) path. Perhaps equally upsetting is the fact that there are practically no races in Qatar. I hear about some sort of "Women's Mini-marathon" or something like that. What the heck is a "mini-marathon"? Call it what it is - a 5k fun run/walk! I didn't run that race. It made me angry just thinking about it. However, M and I found a proper half marathon in the UAE for a nice weekend in February. We had a great time, but with less intense training I felt like it was just a training run rather than a race.

I miss racing like I used to do in Seoul. I miss feeling like I am good at running. I miss being known as "a runner" or better yet, "a marathoner" to others, but mostly to myself. I miss training hard and feeling good even though it kind of kills my social life. And I've let my husband (a marathoner and triathlete as well) know this in more than a few conversations since we moved here. I just hope we can visit Seoul and run a race there so he can experience it all.

So we recommitted ourselves to training. We've run a little more in the heat than was probably wise, and decided that we just can't change the weather. However, we can get up earlier when it isn't so darn hot. We decided this before George's Total Fat Loss class last week. We had been getting up at 5:00AM to run, but by the time we got out the door it was 5:20AM and the sun was glaring down on us.

Therefore, last Thursday night I set the alarm for 4:00AM. We would run 7 miles - the most we'd run since our February half marathon. For a half marathon we should run at least one 12 mile run about two weeks before the race. We've got time, but not much considering we've only ran 5-6 miles each time we've ran since our last half marathon and we skipped two weekends in a row. As soon as the alarm went off at 4:00AM I jumped up excited and ready to run. The cats were confused and looked a little perturbed. I know Frankie said to Sophia, "Hey, isn't it our job to wake them up?!" M wasn't trilled but I found a way to get him out of bed. I have to bluff and pretend like I'm going to run on the mean streets of Doha alone and then he's up!

Just for the record it was a nice cool 93F at 4:00AM on that Friday, June 25th. I was immediately in love with the idea of getting up every weekend in Doha at 4:00AM. I cannot tell you how incredibly refreshing it was to run at that time in that cool of weather. Right now it is a hot 95F but the "realfeel" temperature is 100F. In the past few weeks the "realfeel" temperature got up near 120F. What does that feel like? Basically, imagine putting your body into an oven, or turning a thousand hot hair dryers onto your body.

Until Next Time,

WW

Photo credit: Seoul Flyer's Running Club President, Jae Kim and me.

Gulf Fashion Observations

Amy Winehouse keeps popping into my head when I see my students. Read more to find out why!

Like in South Korea I was not accustomed to what I saw when I first arrived in Qatar. I saw a sea of sameness at first. Now I can see some differences. There are some subtle differences and some big differences.

First of all, there are many types of covering for women in the Arab world. BBC online has a good slide show of these. There is the hijab which is a veil and the word for "veil" in Arabic. You can still see the face and eyes when a Muslim woman wears this. They come in different colors and patterns. And like in this photograph, I see SE Asian women wearing these too here in Qatar.

Most of my students wear the shayla which is a bigger scarf that wraps around one's head and hangs a bit further down. Almost all of my students wear a black shayla with a matching abaya. Some students wear a matching shayla and abaya that have embroidery on the edges. This blog sells them and has some good photographs. Some abayas and shaylas are fairly modest with only black threaded embroidery on black fabric. Some are much more colorful like the one below. In fact, one of my students wore a black abaya with part of the sleeves made from zebra print fabric which had hot pink bobby sock puffs stitched along the cuffs. I immediately thought "Wow! Cat toy!" when I first saw her abaya. Despite her sassy choice of fabric she was quiet and diligent in class.

Another type of head covering is called niqab and it covers everything but the woman's eyes.

In a class of about 20 females from all over the Arabian Gulf, the Middle East, and Northern Africa, I have had only 2 or 3 who wore the niqab. Furthermore, only 1 of my students out of my total 40 from 2009-2010 never unveiled her face to me. She even wore long, black gloves outside the classroom. I only know that one student by her voice and her eyes. She was from Sudan. She was also one of my most respectful and serious students here in Qatar. I've found it interesting that in general my students who wear niqab seem to make a extra effort to express themselves with their eyes. Students wearing the niqab have crinkled up their eyes when I suppose they were smiling underneath their niqabs. They have also given me cold stares when frustrated during a class lesson. They also seem to speak their minds more than the others - perhaps because of the freedom associated with the niqab's anonymity or because they were simply outspoken individuals (I'm still not sure which is the cause).

The one accessory that interests me the most is the "flower puff" which some Gulf Arab women put under their head scarves (i.e. a bustle for your head). It goes to show that curves are in style everywhere. One online forum explains that some women add this extra Va Va Voom! under their head scarves to make it look as if their hair is fuller than it really is. The forum also points out that the reason for wearing the hijab, or head scarf, is to show modesty by covering one's hair. Furthermore, the forum goes on to argue that feigning fuller hair than what you have naturally is deceitful and against Islam. Hm . . . I guess women in all corners of the world use all sorts of trickery when it comes to beautifying themselves. I just cannot get Amy Winehouse out of my head when I see some of my students with a head bustle or flower puff.

Until Next Time,

WW

PS It was 50C or 122F here in Doha, Qatar, today so I cannot imagine ever wearing any of the above fashions. Thank goodness I don't have to wear any of them.

Photo credits:

http://alivemindandspirt.com/index

http://abayacouture.blogspot.com/

http://24.media.tumblr.com/

http://khaleejia.blogspot.com/

http://www.hairflare.org/

Schools Out for Summer!

Photo: Sophia & Frankie bathe and then wrestle on their Cat Canopy

My classes have finished, exams have been graded and entered into the online system, and I have been to my office to wait for students to complain in person. (Not one student came.) Now, what to do?

My husband's teaching will finish the 3rd week of July, so that leaves me with about 45 days of time to kill. Here are some things that could fill my time:

1. Cook more delicious meals (I only know how to make 3 - maybe)

2. Clean more of the house

3. Run more (on the treadmill in A/C) because August 1st will be here soon!

4. Morning spinning class (on days I have the car)

5. Read more (I have 6 books on my nightstand currently!)

6. Blog more

7. Get Frankie (our little boy kitten) "fixed"

8. Get both kittens de-clawed - the poor things often get hung up on the curtains, sheets, and furniture upholstery

9. Get a haircut

10. Watch a list of recommended movies that I've never seen

11. Watch the entire series of "Lost" - I never got addicted to it

12. Plan next 3 vacations (mid-late August, mid-September Eid, mid-November)

13. Get car inspection (I've heard this is a big pain in the neck, so I'm not looking forward to this.)

14. Swim lessons (I emailed, stopped by in person, and facebooked the Doha Dolphins, but still haven't heard back from them - hiss boo)

15. Start saying goodbye to some teachers who are not returning in the fall :(

16. Start packing for July 23rd trip home :)

17. Continue taking a gazillion photos of our adorable kitties that I am already sad about leaving during vacation . . .

Until Next Time,

WW